cookies for breakfast

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It’s rare to have bits of time to myself nowadays. I don’t mean times when Yudi is at his grandparents’ house and while he’s there I run errands, or go shopping, or bake cookies, or spend time online. I’m talking about time to myself,  time for my mind, time to think,time to reflect. Of course I miss him when he’s not around but at the same time it’s like this big open prairie of space has opened in my mind that I can peacefully explore. Babyhood – or now, toddlerhood, is a huge amount of fleeting fun for a parent, but it’s easy to get caught up in the toddler talk, the silly games, the using every minute of time you get to yourself to do something that needs to be done – organize, buy, make. This afternoon I got time to think and I realized how much I missed it.

Usually, when Yudi spends the night at his grandparents’ house, I wake up in the morning and bake something. I’m not using my mind so early in the morning to reflect, as perhaps I should be, but I like being in the kitchen when no one else is around and getting the kitchen alone is a rarity in Mumbai with a toddler and a house full of staff.

Two recipes worth noting that I’ve made in the early morning quiet time: 

Dark chocolate hazelnut brownies from the Mast Brothers’ cookbook. We visited the Mast Brother’s store/factory in Brooklyn this summer and when Hrishikesh saw a cookbook devoted to chocolate he insisted we own it.  I think this brownie recipe is so good because it calls for an obscene amount of butter and eggs. The brownies are super rich and sticky, terrifyingly good.

Dried cherry pecan cookies, from Amy Chaplin’s At Home in the Whole Food Kitchen (a book I bought after Noelle raved about it). I’m the type of person who likes to snack on dessert all day long, but especially first thing in the morning. These are cookies but they are nutritious and very filling, plus they have chocolate, so I feel both like I am both a responsible adult mother to a toddler, and a little like I am a grown up now, one who can eat chocolate for breakfast if I so please.

dried cherry pecan cookies
Adapted from Amy Chaplin

1 cup pecan flour, toasted

1 cup rolled oats

½ cup dried coconut

½ teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ cup coconut oil

5 Tablespoons honey

1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

½ cup dried cherries, large ones halved

a handful of dark chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325 F. Line a baking sheet with silpat or parchment.

In  a medium bowl, stir together the toasted pecan flour, oats, coconut flakes, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt.

In a smaller bowl, whisk together the coconut oil, honey, and vanilla extract. Pour into the dry mix and stir to combine well. Mix in chopped cherries and chocolate chips. 

Shape cookies into approximately 3 tablespoon mounds and place them on the baking sheet. They will not spread. Bake for 15 minutes or until edges are golden and lightly browning. These cookies may not look done when they come out of the oven but they firm up as they cool. Remove from oven and set aside to cool for 10 minutes. Once cool, cookies can be stored in an airtight container in the fridge (in Bombay) for a few weeks.

Ottolenghi’s roasted pumpkin and onion salad with tahini dressing, Canal House lentils via @xobreakfast, feta, arugula, parsley, and hot sauce piled atop a roti.

Ottolenghi’s roasted pumpkin and onion salad with tahini dressing, Canal House lentils via @xobreakfast, feta, arugula, parsley, and hot sauce piled atop a roti.

homemade pizza night! 🍕#1: pesto base, potatoes, onions, banana peppers, Rosemary, Parmesan, mozzarella. 🍕#2: tomato sauce, spinach, garlic, onions, mushrooms, green chilies, and feta.

homemade pizza night! 🍕#1: pesto base, potatoes, onions, banana peppers, Rosemary, Parmesan, mozzarella. 🍕#2: tomato sauce, spinach, garlic, onions, mushrooms, green chilies, and feta.

broccoli rabe, tomato sauce, and Gruyere grilled toasts

broccoli rabe, tomato sauce, and Gruyere grilled toasts

@hthackersey’s tan tan noodles with chopped mushrooms and crumbled tofu

@hthackersey’s tan tan noodles with chopped mushrooms and crumbled tofu

mushroom tacos

We are in the midst of the terrible twos, which apparently start at one and a half and go until two and a half. Our eardrums and our patience are tested daily: Yudi’s going through a screaming phase, which is as ear-splittingly awful as it sounds.

This child is not an easy kid, one who enthusiastically eats everything and falls asleep as soon as you pick him up and occupies himself by playing with coasters when we’re out in company. He is what the parenting articles (and his teacher at play school) call a “willful” child, which means he wants things his way more so than other toddlers want things their way, which is to say, very, very badly. The articles assure me that “willfulness” can be a good thing since it can translate to self-confidence later but in order to help that along I need to ride out the multiple daily temper tantrums with a calmness I am trying to cultivate. I’ve started reading about meditation and I practice it a little, although I keep falling asleep. I try to remember to stay present, and to remember that even this phase will probably pass sooner than I thought.

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Things are pretty good when there’s no screaming. Yudi’s actually started talking(!), something I was sure wouldn’t happen until he passed two years, since until a month ago, there were no signs of words other than “maaa” emerging from his mouth. But around 20 months, he figured out how to vocalize all these words he’s been hearing and both he and I are getting so much joy from hearing him speak. He will point to a green shirt and say “guuuuhryn” and I’ll say, yes, that’s green, and then he will point to himself and point to the object and I tell him, in a full sentence, “You said that the shirt is green.” He looks as pleased as can be.

When I’m not scouring the Internet or books for advice on the best way to deal with tantrums (time outs? validation of feelings? ignoring?), Yudi and I spent a lot of time reading books together and going to the playground. I listened to this fascinating Invisibilia episode (thanks, Orangette, for the tip) on letting go of fear with loved ones and I’ve been trying to incorporate what I heard into the way I interact with Yudi. Before, it would terrify me when he went to the high swirly yellow slide–the big kid slide–and I never let him go unless Hrishikesh was around. But Yudi so clearly wanted to go up there all the time, and I do want to raise a kid who has confidence in outdoor spaces like playgrounds, because I think it helps build inner confidence. So I let him go up to the big kid slide by himself and he does the funniest thing once he slowly climbs all the stairs to reach the slide–he just sits on the top of the slide and spaces out. I don’t know if he’s savoring the feeling of being on the top, or just enjoying the view–doesn’t he know the whole point is to feel the rush as you go down the slide?–but it’s pretty funny to hear the kids lined up behind him saying, “go, baby, go! Go down the slide!”

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Submerged like this in baby life, we cook mostly tried and tested recipes for dinner, thankful the toddler is asleep and craving the comfort these favorites provide. However, Saturday night we tried a new dish that turned out so well it made our weekend. These mushroom tacos are inspired by the fantastic mushroom tacos we ate at Ellipsis in December and didn’t remember anything specific about, other than loving them. Fortunately we had a picture of the menu, which described the mushrooms as having  “soy-balsamic” and “chili-lime” dressings. From there we made the recipe our own, first searing the mushrooms in ghee and then tossing them with the dressings, raw garlic, and toasted sesame seeds, making them savory and rich. We laid the mushrooms in soft corn tortilla and topped them with cilantro, pickled red onion, hot peppers, and aged, creamy cheddar. Somehow, every component worked perfectly together and there was no one more surprised than me.

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mushroom tacos
Serves 2 

1 large red onion, sliced
apple cider vinegar
salt
¼ cup cilantro
sliced hot peppers (jalapenos or another hot pepper – we used a hot red pepper whose name we don’t know)
4-6 soft corn tortillas
½ cup shredded aged cheddar (I’m sure another sharp, yet mellow cheese would work equally well)

for the mushrooms:

1 pound baby portabella mushrooms, quartered
ghee
1 Tbsp. soy sauce
1 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar (the ordinary kind)
juice of 2 limes
1 Tbsp. sriracha or other red chili hot sauce (to taste)
4 garlic cloves, shredded into a paste
toasted sesame seeds

Toss the onion slices in a little apple cider vinegar and salt to pickle them; set them aside for at least 20 minutes.

Heat ghee or another cooking fat a large pan over high heat. Place the mushrooms (you’ll have to do this in batches to avoid overcrowding) in the pan, leaving a bit of space in between one mushroom and the next, and let cook without stirring for 3-5 minutes, until the side that’s down in the pan begins to turn a golden, crackly brown. Once the side that’s down in the pan is brown, flip the mushrooms until the next side turns the same shade of brown. Turn the mushrooms onto their backs and brown them too; remove from the pan, heat more ghee and repeat with the remaining mushrooms.

Once the mushrooms are seared, add them all back into the pan and over medium heat, toss them with the soy sauce and balsamic vinegar until both have reduced and there is no trace of liquid. Put the mushrooms into a bowl, and add the lime juice, srichara, and garlic, and mix with a spoon. Sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds and mix again.

assemble the tacos:

Pile mushrooms onto the tortilla. Top with cilantro, pickled onions, hot peppers, and shredded cheddar, all to taste. Enjoy.

Lately my breakfast mood has been of the muffin tearing instead of the granola picking variety so what I do is bake a whole bunch of different recipes and freeze them. Then I’ve got options like these: muffins made of almond flour, oats, chia seeds,...

Lately my breakfast mood has been of the muffin tearing instead of the granola picking variety so what I do is bake a whole bunch of different recipes and freeze them. Then I’ve got options like these: muffins made of almond flour, oats, chia seeds, and apricots. Recipe via @timmazurek

First time making marmalade. Made it with the tiny mandarin oranges that grow on our terrace plus one lime (no lemons readily available here) using a recipe from @meganjgordon’s book as a guideline. I may have overcooked it a bit as it’s very thick...

First time making marmalade. Made it with the tiny mandarin oranges that grow on our terrace plus one lime (no lemons readily available here) using a recipe from @meganjgordon’s book as a guideline. I may have overcooked it a bit as it’s very thick and not super spreadable; or is the consistency due to the small amount of sugar? I’m not sure but it has a delicious grapefruit taste so I’m quite happy that I stopped just thinking about making the marmalade and actually made it! 🍊

Fennel with tomatoes, olives, capers, and lemon juice. This is part of our “Mediterranean wraps” meal that also has whole wheat wraps (aka rotis), feta, roasted cauliflower, moong hummus, tahini, hot sauce, and cilantro-kale salad. Sometimes we also...

Fennel with tomatoes, olives, capers, and lemon juice. This is part of our “Mediterranean wraps” meal that also has whole wheat wraps (aka rotis), feta, roasted cauliflower, moong hummus, tahini, hot sauce, and cilantro-kale salad. Sometimes we also have falafels - but not tonight.

bees vs. trees

It turns out that Yudi does enjoy food. He likes buttery green beans, homemade yogurt, pumpkin oat pancakes and wholegrain pancakes, cheese, apples, pears, melons, papaya, and bread. He likes Indian snacks like fried fenugreek muthias and baked handvo, and he really likes South Indian style potatoes. He likes palak paneer (paneer with a spinach gravy) and gvar, a slightly bitter Indian green bean. Yudi acts like he doesn’t like: most daals, red bell peppers, cauliflower prepared in an Indian way, and chikoo, an incredibly sweet fruit. I’ve read that children don’t have formative likes or dislikes until closer to their second year (and at 15 months, Yudi still has a ways to go), and before they turn two, their palates are receptive to new tastes and flavors. According to science, Yudi doesn’t know yet what he likes or dislikes, because he hasn’t tasted enough to have a defined opinion. But according to my eyes, the child, as I sometimes refer to him, has definite food preferences that seem quite closely aligned with mine.

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I’ve been experimenting with snack time at a Yudi-sized table after reading about how it can help diffuse power struggles during mealtimes. The idea is that it’s in Yudi’s control to leave the table when he’s finished with his meal, without any straps or highchair constraining him, but he also must exert self-control by remaining at the table if he wants to eat. I started with snack time because I am hesitant to try full meals on the floor, envisioning daal splattered everywhere, and because he generally likes his snacks (fruits or a muffin) so it’s not like he’s going to scamper away because I’m feeding him daal. This sounds simple but most of the time, Yudi eats a couple bites and then starts moving away from the table. I remind him that at snack time he has to sit at the table and tell him that if he’s done, I can pick up his snack and put it away because no one is forcing him to eat. Usually he comes back to the table and sits for two more pieces of whatever the snack is and then leaves again. Then I tell him “I’m putting your snack away” but he doesn’t care, because, I suppose, he’s really feeling satisfied with his (two to four piece) snack. What’s difficult about this whole exercise is letting go of my ideas about how much he should eat, and trusting him to eat if he’s hungry. But I’m also trying to be firm about mealtimes: there’s breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner, and no snacking in between (though he does have leftover morning milk when he wakes up from his nap around noon and leftover afternoon milk before bed). I remind myself that it’s okay if he feels hungry in between meals, because that’s how he’ll build an appetite to make his next meal taste all the better.

wholegrain buttermilk pancakes
adapted from Good to the Grain

We make the full recipe of these pancakes and freeze them since Yudi can manage but one pancake per meal. They freeze well and are a great make-ahead breakfast for parents who are a bit slow in the mornings. Also these pancakes definitely taste better topped with honey rather than maple syrup (bees vs. trees, as Hrishikesh likes to say).

1 cup multigrain flour mix (recipe below)
1 cup whole wheat flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
¾ tsp salt
½ tsp. freshly grated nutmeg
2 Tbsp. sugar

wet mix:
2 cups thin yogurt (you can thin out 1.5 cups of thicker yogurt by adding ½ cup water)
2 Tbsp. unsulphured molasses (or– you can leave out the sugar from above and heat 1 Tbsp. dark jaggery with 1 Tbsp. water on the stove for a sugar and molasses substitute)
2 eggs
zest of one orange (about a teaspoon)

1. Stir the dry ingredients together in a large bowl with a fork.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk the wet ingredients together until well combined.

3. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and using a spatula, gently mix them together. For tender pancakes, it is important that you do not overmix the batter. The batter should be slightly thick with a holey surface.

4. Although the batter is best used immediately, it can sit for up to 1 hour on the counter, overnight, or in the fridge. When you return to the batter it will be very thick and should be thinned 1 Tbsp. at a time with milk - but take care not to overmix.

5. Heat a cast iron pan or griddle over medium heat until water sizzles when splashed onto the pan. Rub the pan with butter; this is key to crisp, buttery pancakes edges. Working quickly, dollop ¼ cup mounds of batter onto the pan, 2 or 3 at a time. Once bubbles have begun to form on the tio side of the pancake, flip it over and cook until the bottom is dark golden brown, about 5 minutes total. Wipe the pan with a cloth before starting the next batch.

6. Serve the pancakes hot, with honey.

kim boyce’s multigrain flour mix

1 cup whole-wheat flour
1 cup oat flour
1 cup barley flour
½ cup millet flour
½ cup rye flour

cake that tastes like an apple cider donut @debperelman’s mom’s apple cake

cake that tastes like an apple cider donut @debperelman’s mom’s apple cake

French toast for dinner with homemade bread.

French toast for dinner with homemade bread.

I made this bread! From @local_milk’s recipe for honey buttermilk bread except I made it with jaggery and yogurt. 🍞

I made this bread! From @local_milk’s recipe for honey buttermilk bread except I made it with jaggery and yogurt. 🍞

Thai-style broiled eggplant and boiled egg salad with carrots, cilantro, shallots, and fish sauce, inspired by the one at PokPokNY

Thai-style broiled eggplant and boiled egg salad with carrots, cilantro, shallots, and fish sauce, inspired by the one at PokPokNY

buttery, chewy, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (grand central baking co. recipe)

buttery, chewy, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (grand central baking co. recipe)

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